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Pause in School

Right now, I'm working full time while 'taking a semester off."

I don't know why, but school has just become more and more difficult. Each semester starts strong, but then I miss a class because I need sleep. Then I miss another one because I'm embarrassed to go back. Then I've missed a week's worth a class, and I can't bear to show my face to my teacher who I have let down. But my logical side supplies that I haven't let that teacher down because that teacher doesn't care. That fact doesn't help. Then I'm missing classes as I lose sleep swinging from upset to worried.

I realized at the beginning of this semester that I've been on my last semester for a year and half. Each time I told myself "ONE MORE PUSH" and then fell flat. So, I'm not going for a last push anymore, but a drawn out conclusion. If it takes me a year or two or even three, I will finish, but torturing myself and drowning half way through isn't how it is done. I'm going back in the fall, but I'm only going to take one class.

In this time in between, I'm getting an amazing amount of reading done.